It’s all downhill from here. So they say. Whoever “they” are.

Actually, I think I’ll just roll the rest of the way down. Tuck and roll, baby. Tuck and roll.

Tony surprised me and took me to Asheville for my birthday weekend! We flew there. I know, I know. It’s not that far from us, but I think it must have been all part of the birthday surprises because everyone on the plane sang Happy Birthday to me. (!!!) The attendant announced my birthday, told everyone to lower their window shades (and THEY DID) and press their call buttons.

Then I heard her say the words “We’re going to light this place UP for the birthday girl” and “Oh, it’s gettin’ lit up in here!”

It was pretty hysterically amazing. And then?! She brought cookies to me and my very own Delta wings. As I was leaving the plane, I told her and the captain “Thanks for the song and the wings. I can basically fly this joker now. Just let me get my bag.”

Also, if you’ve never been to the Asheville airport? It’s so small, you can spit from one end to the other. In one single spit.

From there we hopped in an Uber and headed to The River District for drinks and lunch and then from there we checked into the cutest little bed and breakfast called The Biltmore Village Inn. (This area was hit hard by Helene and is just now getting its groove back.) I walked around inside and outside and took lots of photos like the little old lady that I am. Then I sat on our own little porch and read my crime novel with my reading glasses on and got even older. My legs started to get restless, but then I remembered that I didn’t take that magnesium supplement that I usually take everyday. So I just got up and walked around.

Dinner was YUM-MEEE. We went to Sunset Terrace at Grove Park Inn. I went all crazy off script and got a margarita. A spicy one at that. Looked like a sea creature if I’m being honest. Or actually, like it had red hair on top. A spicy something with red hair. Super spicy. Did I say that? Plus, we had the strawberry cheesecake. The Server With a Man Bun said that the birthday dessert was his treat, but I’m pretty sure his manager told him to say that.

Speaking of man buns. I have never been surrounded by such a hairstyle in my life. IN. MY. LIFE.
That town is overrun with men with The Bun or men rapidly on their way to The Bun. It’s record breaking, no doubt. If you have a plan on moving to Asheville, start growing that hair out now boys. It’s all the rage.

On Saturday morning we headed to….you guessed it! The Biltmore! I have never been and I was STOKED about it. I thought it was pretty impressive, interesting and super cool. That is, until we got to the basement…..where the swimming pool is….and it’s…it’s just….several Yikes on Bikes. There’s some kind of creepiness there, y’all. I don’t know what that vibe is, but we couldn’t find our way outta there quite fast enough after that.

From the Biltmore to Wicked Weed Brewing and some hot boiled peanuts! We walked around town for a little bit. It’s so very crunchy and tye-dye-ish. Tattoos and man buns all willy nilly.

Then, on Saturday night we saw Trampled by Turtles in concert and ate lots of pizza. And played a table top ring game where I whooped the socks off of Tony. Oh! Also we saw a lot of men in dresses. Which, is totally fine. You ain’t hurtin’ me buddy. Wear the dress. I get it. They’re easy to potty in, cooler on the crotch, flowy….But here’s the thing…the hair didn’t match that dress vibe this one guy was trying to pull off. It was a confusing scene. It was like a Day Trader Man in a frock. I don’t know, but he was very clean shaven and likely sold Kimberly Clark stock from 9 to 5, but just really wanted to be one of those earthy dudes. He missed The Man Bun Message for sure.

The next day? We headed home.

Drat. Back home. But, a couple of wonderful things happened…

I got to spend an amazing weekend with my husband (who is also 50, but a little bit older 50).
I found Asheville, which is absolutely adorable and we will definitely go back.
I have lived half a century and from here I can roll the rest of the way down the hill. Tuck and roll.
I checked the mailbox when we got back and my AARP card application thingy was inside.


Now for a few photos. Tony snuck in a little surprise for me when I was out the night before my birthday. He had our friends pop in for cake, drinks and the Birthday Song.

Birthday Dinner

10 out of 10 on the Creepy Pool Scale

Pre Concert Ring Game Contest and Pizza. Tony not pictured because remember? I whooped the socks off of him and he didn’t want that photographed.