Let me start with two things here:

1. I haven’t been kicked out of a moms group in almost two years. I’m proud of myself.

2. Shouldn’t head lice be extinct by now? Since we have been out of school and quarantined for the last 3,456 days?

Last month, I think it was, a mom was in a whirlwind panic because someone in her home had head lice. That panic is warranted. We all know that. So, she did what most of us would do. She asked for advice from other moms in the group. The responses varied, but all had one thing in common….

That common denominator is that we will try ANYTHING to get rid of those nasty boogers.

I’ll start with my own advice to the mom:

Burn everything.

Here’s the rest of the advice she was given. I’m interested to hear what you’ve tried, too.

1. Spray entire head with tea tree oil and cover with saran soap. Sit for 20 minutes. 

2. Cover head with a cheap conditioner and comb out. Must be the cheap kind or it doesn’t work.  

3. Olive oil in the hair. Wear a shower cap overnight. 

4. I don’t know, but put all the brushes in the freezer 

5. Put anything you can’t wash in double trash bags and leave by your garage. (Why the garage? Is this code for something?)

6. Wait for her to fall asleep and use your phone light to look at each strand. Cut the strand out. (SERIOUSLY?! I do not trust this woman whatsoever.)

7. Buy a lice kit and do whatever the box says 

8. Original listerine under a shower cap overnight. 

9. Coconut oil all over

10. Dennorex with coal tar followed with 1tsp baby oil and 1tsp tea tree oil. 

11. Put Cetaphil face cleaner on her scalp and wrap it in plastic wrap.

12. Put mayonnaise all over her head and then put a plastic bag over her head. (OKAY WHAT?! DON’T DO THIS.)

12. Hair dye. Just dye her hair.

13. Flat iron her hair. It will burn the eggs dead.

14. Get a prescription shampoo from the doctor 

15. Put peanut butter on the hair and leave in for 24 hours

16. Smear on mayo that is mixed with rit dye 

17. Spray hairspray on her hair every morning.

18. Put butter all over her hair at night.

So see? This list just shows you the desperation we face whenever anyone in our house is lucky enough to end up with head lice. It’s basically a rite of passage that I hope NOBODY has to face, but it *is* 2020 so who knows what’s coming for us next.

Good luck everyone. Get your peanut butter and plastic wrap ready, I guess.