- makes the kids scrub out those huge-n-nasty weekly garbage cans, but then feels bad and goes out to help them.
- yells out the back door to the trampoline, ‘Hey! Your homemade macaroni and cheese from a box is ready!’
- feeds the toddler a cake pop for lunch.
- leaves the dishes in the sink overnight “to soak”.
- knows all the words to the Sponge Bob intro.
- thinks there’s nothing at all wrong with public school
- knows more 80s lyrics than nursery rhymes.
- forgets to water the plants.
- doesn’t print enough pictures.
- lets the toddler have a cookie in the grocery store and when she drops it? Blows it off and hands it back to her.
- didn’t remember to buy the teachers an End Of The Year gift.
- is sometimes too tired to brush the toddler’s teeth at night.
- feeds her kids too much frozen pizza.
- doesn’t do “summer learning” with her kids. “Just go play for crying out loud”.
- hasn’t cooked a single meal in….a lot of days.
- put candles on the mantle, lit them and nearly melted the brand new TV right off the wall.
- accidentally threw away a car title once. For a car that we had JUST SOLD.
- walked a screaming toddler through Toys R Us and bought her three toys just to get her to shut it right up.
- once threw a tennis ball at her own kid and knocked her tooth slap out of her head.
- cut her kids’ hair a while back and doesn’t think it’s straight whatsoever.
- isn’t a Yeller Mom, but is very much a Sarcastic Mom.
- didn’t really have anything else to write about so you get this.
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