May 31, 2018

I’m the mom who…

  • makes the kids scrub out those huge-n-nasty weekly garbage cans, but then feels bad and goes out to help them.
  • yells out the back door to the trampoline, ‘Hey!  Your homemade macaroni and cheese from a box is ready!’
  • feeds the toddler a cake pop for lunch.
  • leaves the dishes in the sink overnight “to soak”.
  • knows all the words to the Sponge Bob intro.
  • thinks there’s nothing at all wrong with public school
  • knows more 80s lyrics than nursery rhymes.
  • forgets to water the plants.
  • doesn’t print enough pictures.
  • lets the toddler have a cookie in the grocery store and when she drops it?  Blows it off and hands it back to her.
  • didn’t remember to buy the teachers an End Of The Year gift.
  • is sometimes too tired to brush the toddler’s teeth at night.
  • feeds her kids too much frozen pizza.
  • doesn’t do “summer learning” with her kids. “Just go play for crying out loud”.
  • hasn’t cooked a single meal in….a lot of days.
  • put candles on the mantle, lit them and nearly melted the brand new TV right off the wall.
  • accidentally threw away a car title once.  For a car that we had JUST SOLD.
  • walked a screaming toddler through Toys R Us and bought her three toys just to get her to shut it right up.
  • once threw a tennis ball at her own kid and knocked her tooth slap out of her head.
  • cut her kids’ hair a while back and doesn’t think it’s straight whatsoever.
  • isn’t a Yeller Mom, but is very much a Sarcastic Mom.
  • didn’t really have anything else to write about so you get this.




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