So we are parents all over again.

We are also over 40.

Our oldest girl is 13.  The second and third girls are 10 and 7.

And now?  We have a newborn.

Most of our friends are well into this kid thing.  We are over half way finished with a 13 year old, but starting new with a 1 month old.

It wasn’t OUR plan to work things out this way.  It was, however, GOD’s plan to work things out this way.  Looking at this new little one I’m reminded of what it feels like to be a new mommy.  A brand new mommy learning about babies for the first time.  Then again, knowing all of what to do with this new baby because….well because I’ve been here 3 times before.  The thing is though, this time is so very different, yet so very much the same.  Being older and more mature (yes, I am more mature), I’m less worried about pacifiers that fall to the floor, clothes that get pooped on, being particularly picky about where she chooses to fall asleep.  Right now she’s on the floor next to me snoozing away.  We are more calm.  More laid back.  We don’t fret over every noise made and don’t shush the big girls when they are playing loudly.

But then, it’s all new and different.  The big girls are away at school all day and it’s just me and Josie Mae here.  That part feels very much like a new mom feeling.  We have time to ourselves to cuddle, snack, cuddle, sleep, and do laundry and dishes.  Or not do laundry and dishes since I’m more laid back, remember?  Remembering how to shop with a newborn.  Dropping everything to nurse a hungry belly.  Changing a dirty diaper in the back of the Yukon.  It’s all coming back to me, but it’s all so new at the same time.

Josephine Mae was missing from our family.  I’d look in the back of the car and see an empty seat and KNOW that someone should be there.  I’d count the girls…1, 2, 3…when we were out and look around for the 4th.  It was an odd feeling, really, and maybe you won’t understand unless you’ve had this same feeling of your own.  Tony and I both knew that someone was going to be coming into our lives.  We just weren’t sure when or how.  We were hoping and praying for a baby for over 3 years, but were left with many disappointments and failed attempts at specialists.  Then, we just decided it was all okay, we stopped stressing and whaddya know….a baby bump.  After thinking of names (and with 3 girls who ALL want to agree on a name this is HARD!) for many months, we had Josephine on the list.  Once we realized that her name means ‘God will add one more’ we knew that was her name!

She truly is such a blessing to us and just looking at her makes me all weepy-eyed.  I realize now what our life was missing.  It was missing baby kisses, 2am feedings, sleep-n-play pajamas, little surprise smiles and big sisters who are such good helpers and snugglers.  Our lives were missing one more chance to love on a baby.  To see her milestones.  To rock her at night.  Seeing her with our oldest reminds us both of how quick this baby time with her is going to go.  It makes me want to snuggle her even more.  Even tighter.  It makes me take more and more pictures of her.  Videos of her squirminess.  Seeing her with her big sisters tells me to slow down and take it all in because this is it.  This is the time to remember and I don’t want to miss one second.

And now, that I’m nearly finished here, she’s getting fussy so I’ll need to scoot and gobble her up.  I know there are a lot of pictures below, but hey.  It’s what you do with the last baby.  These are iphone shots from birth to yesterday they were intended to be in order, but I see they aren’t. Oops.  🙂

Thanks for reading along and putting up with daily pictures of Sweet Josie Mae.