Jul 4, 2012

Can I ask you something?


This has been bugging me for a while now and I must know.

Why do people feel the need to comment on family dynamics?

And by “people” what I really mean is…


I mean. Why is it their business how many kids I have?

How can they be so concerned about my state of mind with three kids?

Are they doctors?


Census workers?

Voter registration?

“Boy. I bet you have your hands full with three girls!”

“Oh, your poor husband.”

“THREE GIRLS?! I feel sorry for you when they all decide to get married!”

For real, people?

First off. Don’t feel sorry for me. And most importantly? Don’t say you feel sorry for me IN FRONT OF MY KIDS.

They KNOW what you are saying and they DON’T LIKE IT EITHER.

I think that may be my most favorite (read: annoying to the point that I want to punch someone in the throat) line…

“I feel sorry for you.”

That’s stupid.

I have been blessed with three of the greatest girls ever. You don’t know my kids. You don’t know our love for each other. You don’t GET IT obviously.

Another one of my favorite lines?

“That must be a lot of work, how do you do it?”

How? Here. Hold this tequila and I’ll tell you how.

No. I’m just kidding. That’s not how it went.

It was vodka.

I mean, really? When I ran across some lady at SAMs the other day? The one with SIX kids? (that she’d been BLESSED with, remember? :giggle) Three of which were small enough to be stuffed into that cart? Three others that were having the time of their lives jumping on the display mattresses? I DID NOT SAY “Holy heck woman are all of those hooligans yours?! Don’t you understand how birth control works?! Do you need a drink?!”

I mean, clearly they were her kids as she was threatening them to within an inch of their lives to get off of those mattresses while shoving Goldfish crackers in the toddlers’ mouths.

I kept my mouth shut.



Nor is it any of my business if they have all girls.

Or all boys.

Or all ferrets for that matter.

Or monkeys. There’s nothing wrong with having a carload of monkeys.

This teeny little part of my life…when I take my sweet girls out in public….and people want to comment on how many or what gender they are…

…drives me mad.

And? Don’t ask if we are “going to try for a boy”


The next time THAT question comes up? My response will most certainly be…

“Are you asking if my husband and I are DOING IT?! ‘Cause we are, thankyouverymuch.”

Think that’ll shut them up?

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  1. Adele Humphries says:

    You crack me up Melissa! Love you, your humour and your girls! xxx

  2. Joyce Kang says:

    Don’t you love the unsolicited, free advice people give?!?! No?! LOL!! Seriously! People always have something to say…my thing though, if you got nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all! <3 you Melissa!!!

  3. You crack me up! “Or all ferrets….” giggle You have a beautiful family. I wish people would learn to talk a little bit less (or at least, offer their unsolicited opinion, a little bit less) <3

  4. Karli says:

    For what it’s worth… I would LOVE to have 3 girls!! I never had any sisters and I think it’s the COOLEST. I mean I’ll keep my boys and all (they’re beyond awesome) but to add 2 more girls would be a dream!! Hugs & happy 4th!! 🙂

  5. Jessica says:

    I get the same types of comments over only having one: “Isn’t she lonely?” (No, but thanks for your concern) “Wow–she must be spoiled” (No–but again, thanks for your concern) or my favorite “Can’t you have others?” (Um, REALLY?!?!). Sigh… Enjoy your three beautiful girls!!!!!!!!

  6. Lisa says:

    As the oldest of 3 girls my parents used to get that all the time. Now that I am an adult with a family I sometimes find myself saying “I don’t know how they did it, my poor dad” Of course I am speaking from having lived through the teenage years with my sisters. I do pray my kids aren’t like we were but I know pay back is coming. At least I can say we all made it through thos years and are ‘normal’ responsible adults with families now. But yes people/strangers really should keep their mouths shut. The other one that used to bug me…”is this your first?” what is that suppoesd to mean?

  7. candy says:

    Oh, i know. several years ago when we found out we were having a boy so many people made comments like “i bet your husband is happy”, “oh, you get a boy” – i felt like they were saying our daughter wasn’t enough or she didn’t make our life complete but with a boy…. (don’t get me wrong i love the two boys that the Lord has given us!)

  8. Lacey Meyers says:

    LOL … you know how I feel about this. 🙂 People can comment on my family dynamics all they want … when they tell me how cute my boys are or how well behaved they are or how much easier I have it because I have boys rather than girls. Haha!

  9. LOL- I never have understood the freedoms strangers take with their words and the need to share in front of myself and my children. Just yesterday, the CHECKER at Safeway (as my 17 year old twin sons are loading the groceries on the belt, he said, “Here comes double trouble!” continued with, “which on is the good twin and which is the evil one?” What? :0 Thank you for sharing. I always love seeing a peek into your life and seeing your beautiful family. <3

  10. Adeena says:

    LOL Okay. Popped over to your blog to check it out… and now I’m totally going to start stalking you. 😉

    And seriously, you should have heard the comments my mom used to get.. I have 11 siblings. 😉 When people would ask my hubby the “Are they Catholic/Mormon/Crazy” question, he always answered “No, just horny.” Shut them up. XD

  11. Anna says:

    I do love big families:) and i can only imagine how fun their life is:)