Jan 9, 2024

If You’re Thinking of Having a Kid, I Must Warn You

You’re going to have many sleepless nights…

where you sit in the quiet of your home holding the sweetest little baby with the most delightful smell. You’re going to wonder what your life was like before and wonder how it can get any better.

Your kitchen will be a wreck…

when your tween decides she wants to own a bakery when she grows up. She’ll fill your kitchen with delicious smells and yummy treats that she passes out to neighbor friends who are her Taste Testers.

Your home will be LOUD…

with silly giggles and running feet and fun music during after-dinner dance parties. There will be singing on The Coffee Table Stage and dance-off contests on the back porch.

There will be some very scary moments…

when she’s learning to ride a bike and she can barely pedal for all of the happy giggling and you can hardly see through all of the proud tears.

There will be fights…

over which teen gets to sit in the front right next to you on the way to school each morning. You’ll want to drive slowly so that you’re sure to get the whole story about you-know-who having a crush on so-and-so.

You’ll probably have to share your bed a time or two…

with a toddler who “juss cant sweep dary good” in her own bed. So you’ll lie there together, so closely, telling silly jokes and making shadow puppets until one of you falls asleep. Hint: It will be you.

There will be a lot of teenagers showing up at your house…

bringing along their jokes and bluetooth speakers and good manners. If you’re lucky and give them a few minutes of your time, you’ll get to hear how great college life or their work is going. They’ll stand around your kitchen island, the same one she made her bakery treats on, having pizza and Fresca.

Everything will be hard…

Dressing a happy, squirmy, giggly baby fresh from the bath. Trying not to laugh when you’re scolding him for saying “that word” to his sister. Saying goodbye on that first day of kindergarten, when you cry more than him. That first wobbly tooth that you just can’t stomach looking at, but is also absolutely adorable. Watching her interact with others, in just the perfect and friendly way you always hoped she would. The day she decides to move out, dragging with her the family camcorder and everything you ever taught her.

Everything will be oh so difficult.

So go ahead and do it, but let me warn you.

It’s going to be absolutely wonderful.

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