Apr 9, 2018

things they say

Looking through the notes on my phone and realized I forgot to post a couple of things they said recently.

Caroline:  You did good today Daddy.  And you’re a LANDSCAPER man.  You’re not even a COMPUTER guy.  I couldn’t do that if *I* were your age.  Nope.  I couldn’t.


Caroline:  Do I look different in the morning?  Because I think I look different in the morning. Like my eyes are slits.  They aren’t all the way awake or something.  How long do you think it takes before they adjust to the world in the morning?  I’m going to come back in an hour and check my face to see.


Caroline (telling me goodnight in the dark):  But…hmmmm…I would kiss you right now, except I don’t know where your face is.  I’ll just say this instead of kissing you, ‘Remember, you’re the best mommy in the world’.


Me:  Don’t wake up Daddy.  He needs sleep.
Caroline:  Why?
Me:  Well, sometimes he doesn’t sleep well at night.
Caroline:  Why?
Me:  Because parents usually think about things during the night and can’t fall asleep.
Caroline: Oh.  (thinks about this for a bit and walks away only to come back a couple of minutes later) Then why does he sleep so well in the day then?  He doesn’t think in the day?
Me:  Guess not


Allison:  Wanna know what takes longer than Caroline telling a story?  Nothing.


Guy at GameStop:  Ma’am?  Do you happen to have another license on you that is NOT expired?
Me:  Oh.  Sure.  Lemme look in my Jason Bourne bag of passports and fake IDs and see.
Guy at GameStop:  Nevermind, you can just come back when you get one.
This has really made Caroline think and in the car on the way home she asks a couple of questions….
Caroline:  Okay.  So.  If a cop pulls you over and he’s not a real cop.  He’s a fake BAD GUY COP trying to trick you.  Do you give him your REAL license or your FAKE one?
Caroline: But if you DID.
Me:  Listen.  When you become a CIA agent (which is what she wants to be), it’s going to be hard to keep up with who you give which ID to.  It’s kind of like how it is when you decide to tell a lie.  You have to remember which lie you told to which person and how the story goes, that you made up, every….single….time.  So it’s really best to not lie to begin with, right?
Caroline:  Oh okay.  So then I should just give my FAKE ONE.
Me:  Just forget it.


Me:  Oh. My. Word.  My sock is completely twisted up inside this stupid shoe.
Allison: That socks.


Caroline:  I bet it’s hard to make zippers because they have to sew all those little teeth together without them falling off of the clothes.


Caroline: (in the carpool line one morning we see the people in front of us watching Full House in the car): People at my school watch Fuller House.  They’ve never even seen FULL House.  They’re not even real fans.


Caroline: Do you think they will have Top Ramen in Italy?
Me: Probably not.  It’s not actually that kind of pasta.
Caroline: No it’s not that.  It’s because it’s too far to drive it over there.


Caroline: Where’d you get that furniture out there on the deck?
Me: I don’t know, Daddy bought it.
Caroline: Well.  I’m asking because it has Santa’s initials on it.  S.C.
Me:  Whaaaaaa!?!?!  Oh my word, are you serious?
Caroline: It also says ‘Summer Classics’ on it, but I’m pretty sure that’s fake.


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