May 8, 2018

when your kid turns you into a liar

And *poof*.

Just like that.  Nobody will ever believe another stinkin’ word you say.

If you remember, near the end of April, I told you all about Josephine and her “inability” to talk.

You can read all about that here:  What’s new with Josephine: say what?

So, what had happened was…. we went to the Nice Speech Lady last week.  She’s a graduate from Auburn so naturally I trusted her one hundred percent.

If you’ve never had your child’s speech evaluated, it’s pretty cool.  Really, we just sat in a room, the three of us all on the floor, and played. For an hour.  Y’all.  I went in there thinking my child only had 30 something words.



So, that’s only two and a half years.  Whatever.

Josie did so well, in fact, on the receptive language that Mrs. Auburn SLP said she’s at a four and a half year old level.  The SLP showed her several pictures.  For example, a toppled over bike, a puddle on the sidewalk, a car at a red light, etc.  The SLP said, “Ava went outside to play, but she got hurt.  How did she get hurt?”  And Josie pointed to the toppled over bike.  The SLP said, “Okay, yeah, she understands VERY well”.

I’m like “Yeah.  I know because when I say DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT LICKING THAT FRIDGE AGAIN!”

She immediately licks the fridge again.

Anyway, the whole process is fascinating.  “Where’s the bear?  Can you get the bear and make him go to sleep?” (this is where she was to find the blanket and cover up the bear).  There was also multistep directions like “Find the spoon and the bowl and feed mommy some of the ‘cereal'”.  With EVERYTHING the SLP gave her, Josie did it all totally and completely perfectly.

The stinker even came out with words I had NO IDEA that she could say.  I’m talking, the girl walked over to me with her Bad To The Bone Self, put her hands over my eyes and said (perfectly perfect) “peek-a-boo Mommy!”

That’s when I said out loud…. WHAT THE HECK JOSIE!?!

Y’all.  There aint nothing wrong with kid’s speech.  It only took a sixty five dollar copay to figure that crap out.

The only thing she has to work on is stringing along two or more words at a time.

Which is working out just fine because yesterday?

She pulled out her own WHAT THE HECK?

My mother’s intuition may suck, but I can assure you I CAN tell you when she poops her pants.

Or licks the fridge.

(and now, may I present, her most favorite thing to do at bedtime….jump and giggle)

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  1. katie says:

    Josie 1- Melissa-0.
    I’m not laughing at you, no, yes I am.
    Josie is freaking hilarious.